How to be Perfect

I can finally say I finished a book in the same year that I started it. I have a terrible habit of starting books and getting 75% of the way through them before starting another. By the time I get to the end of a book, I start to feel like I generally have the gist and get excited about the new content opportunities in the next book on my list!

I’m glad I did not do that with Michael Schur’s “How to be Perfect.” Mr. Schur, well known for his TV show “The Good Place",” wrote this excellent book to give people a “beginner’s understanding” of the various ethical frameworks through which one can view the world. If you’ve ever taken an ethics class, you will most likely recall the language used in these books is confusing at best. This is NOT the case with Mr. Schur’s “How to be Perfect,” where he provides very understandable descriptions of some of the most popular ethical frameworks. While the title of this book is obviously tongue-in-cheek, it does illuminate why it is so difficult to “make the right decisions.”

The last chapter is particularly lovely in the way that it simplifies the complex theories discussed in the book down to a few simple sentences, which I thought I would paraphrase (and hopefully not mess up too much) below.

1. You Are Not Here Alone (so don’t act like it)

   1. We are all people, here on earth, together. This means that we do in fact, owe it to one another that we live by rules that would generally be considered fair to all.

2. What if Everyone Did It

   1. When considering a decision, imagine a world where everyone in the world did the same thing you were considering doing. Would this result in a twisted world where things could not possibly be fair? If so, perhaps there is a better decision to make.

3. Happy vs Sad Analysis

   1. Imagine how many people your decision is going to make happy, and how many it is going to make sad (and to what degree or for how long they will be Happy and Sad). Total the sum up in your mind, and perhaps this process will help illuminate the best possible decision you can make.

4. Everything in Moderation

   1. You will never be able to make the perfect decision in every scenario and you cannot possibly be kind and generous all the time. So don’t even bother trying to be perfect. Instead of trying for “every time,” try to think about obtaining the “right amount” of kindness, generosity, loyalty, courage, and determination. Taken to their extremes, any of those qualities (and so many others) would lead to less-than-ideal scenarios.

The last point in the book is something I’ve always been passionate about - CONTEXT MATTERS. He talks about how everyone’s ability to go through any of these frameworks is significantly influenced by the historical and current context of their life. It’s pretty difficult to ask people to consider, “What if everyone did what you are about to do” if they are struggling to put food on their table. Or the fact that how you were brought up might illuminate certain things you need to pay more attention to than others. For example, if you were raised in America versus South Africa, you might need to pay more attention to the fact that you aren’t the only human on Earth. In America, it is more likely you’ve been exposed to more ideas/concepts around self-preservation than South Africa, where it is more likely you have been exposed to ideas/concepts around the happiness of oneself being directly linked to the happiness of others.

His point, after going through summaries of most of the ethical frameworks for making decisions, is that you should pay attention to them all. And you will never “Be Perfect,” which is why it’s most important that you “Keep trying, keep trying, Keep trying.” (the last six words of the book).

Cheers to 2023, another opportunity for us all to “Keep Trying” to be the best version of ourselves we can be.