Our Cycle of False Choices
On Monday evening, I was feeling grateful and extremely fortunate about the 5 days I got to spend in Disney World with my family. It was the first time in a while I unplugged and zoned in on just them. It felt wonderful. Rejuvenating. I had spent months researching and planning, in an attempt to make the vacation just perfect. And as I sit here less than 24 hours after returning from that trip, I find myself focused on the loss of a wonderful human being, Peter Debelak, and yet another mass shooting at an elementary school. It’s just devastating. I can use no other word to describe this moment.
Yet as I think about the conversations that are likely to ensue over the next few weeks, and in particular those that won’t, it hurts even more, that I expect to see no progress. I expect this because we are stuck in a cycle of false choice. We are going to see people argue that we can have the Right to Bear Arms ORRRR Fewer Mass Shootings. That we have the Right to Life ORRR the Choice Over One’s Body. Sometimes these False Choices aren’t quite as obviously polarizing, but they are still impacting everything we do. We can be dedicated to our Careers ORRR our Families. We can either have a vacation that is Perfect ORRR one that Was Not. We can be remote workers and have flexibility ORRR be in the office all the time.
When we think in terms of pitting one potential outcome against another, we can’t see that there are more than two outcomes/views on any given situation. As the world continues to grow more complex, our conversations have become more polarized than nuanced. Conversations rarely go further than pitting one choice against another. If all we ever do is say you are either for one thing ORRR for another, how can we ever make progress? We will continue to see our politicians further that polarization with sound-bytes that you are either voting for someone that completely believes one thing ORRR someone else who believes something different.
We cannot afford this future. Our cycle of false choices is dividing us in some cases, and killing us in others.
Today I am feeling both grateful for my time with my family ANDDDD devastated about two really tragic events that took place over the past few days. I am hoping we can all find some time to reflect and find our way out of this cycle of false choices. It can’t always be about pitting one choice against another. There has to be a third choice.